My thoughts and advice this week is on a very personal topic, dealing with betrayal.
I have been betrayed a lot and it is heart breaking, but seeing the signs and knowing this has happened has made me stronger than ever before.
It is deception and all I can say to those people is,
"Thank you for the time we have had, but it is my turn and is time for me to let go and say goodbye".
Finding out has been tricky but now I am some what relieved as I realised that I had been living a complete lie and that I now can put it behind me and think of two words,
There is a song by Kelly Clarkson which plays in my head, which is called "What doesn't kill you".
The betrayal won't kill me because I am not going to let it and neither should it effect you, however it has made me see that people may appear to be nice but they are not, and it takes sometime to see it.
BE THE BETTER PERSON!
The people who betray are usually like I wrote in my blogpost on Everyone Can Build A Castle called Home Truths, is that it is their way of crying out for attention and needing help themselves but they don't know how to say it so they hit out, and have a cheap shot at you, normally for nothing.
Even when you tell these people to stop, like bullies, as I do see it as a type of bullying is that they have no remorse and will do anything to hurt you.
So I would,
1. Journal the events down, as when I first thought of this betrayal that was happening I was writing it down everyday and it is a great way to pour your heart out.
2. Stay away from these people if you can, don't get confrontational however tempting it is, as like with bullies they can be manipulative and turn it so you get into trouble not them. Also they often do it to get a reaction from you.
3. Report it, if it is a work colleague for example, go to the right channels and always check your work contract to see if it mentions about Code Of Conduct or if they have a anti-bullying policy
4. Follow through. So you can still say to them "Look if I have upset you then tell me because the way you are speaking to me is bothering me and if it does continue I will report it". Then if you have pre-warned them but they have carried it on, then report it as said and keep reminding the managers etc so they can nip the betrayal in the bud.
5. Don't stay silent as if they do this to you and they are bound to do it to someone else
6. Seek counselling. I have a doctor and keyworker support me due to my mental health and doing a few psychological sessions really did teach me on how to cope when you feel that everyone is against you. That is how I felt the last few days and it is horrible feeling
7. If you have witnessed someone being a betrayed then be their confident and let them know if they wish to talk to someone, you will be all ears and shoulder to cry on
8. If there are children involved then don't use the children as weapons. Still try and be on the same page on this, as you can affect their mental health too
9. Be on guard because if it is physical abuse report it immediately and even go to the police for help
10. Seek refuge. If is a spouse or another person in the family or a so-called friend who has turned, then block them and go to a refuge centre.
So do not be feared you aren't alone if you are being betrayed as there are good people out there who can help.
If you have any thoughts and advice on betrayal and how you dealt with it please feel free to share it with me, by leaving a comment below.
Many thanks for reading,